Thursday, August 5, 2010

God created sadness?

Sorry everyone, I haven't written in awhile due to the lack of access to the computer.
I'm a busy, busy person, but not too busy for God lol. I need to specify that.

I had a different subject in mind for today, but I guess that will have to wait for my next blog.

Ever since my relationship with God has grown and blossomed, as it still life has been flipped upside down for the good. I've not had a weary or unfulfilled day. And even now everyday is fulfilling and will continue to be with him in my life. But the thing i hadn't realize along my new found relationship with God, is that there are going to be crummy, weary, upsetting, rainy, terrible, horrible days. Everyone has them, as Christians we aren't immune to crisis in our lives. What defines us, is what we do with those emotions in our crisis. I assure you that you are going to make mistakes along the way, i mean Christians are humans too!

This whole coping, dealing with crisis, bitter emotions thing, is something I'm currently struggling with and I'm at a crossroads.
But after a jam session in the car with my aunt, which was an attempt to make feel a littler better [which didn't work I might add], I asked God a question. "God, why did you create the emotion heart break, and sadness?" He simply spoke to me "You have to depend on me."

Wow! I have to depend on him? But it's hard depending on him right?
But that is wear we have to realize that we aren't going to control our lives the way he is. He doesn't have bad intentions for us. Does your earthly father have bad intentions for you? Well, of course not. Well what about the ultimate father, he only does things to better you. Even the things we see as terrible, God has a bettering purpose behind each heartbreak even though we don't see it or don't want to believe it.
 To keep my mind off my stuggles, i found myself listening to songs of praise on youtube, its so comforting, i felt his love surround me. But when i stopped i felt my struggles beating at me again, so i prayed of course and do things to keep me busy.

The point of this blog, is to say at your lowest of lows, whenever your broken , God is there to fulfill you. And he will if you call on him. And it is so hard to call on him whenever you are upset, but don't be mad at him, i found myself being selfish and wanting to blame him. But who am i to blame him for anything I was angry asking him "WHY do i have to do this, if you loved me you wouldn't ask me to do something that i would never want to do." But only time will tell, he has something for everyone.

We have to trust him.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

Friday, July 30, 2010

Spontaneous Me

Today has been quite an interesting day guys. 
I've never really put much thought into my personality and how people see me, but now i know. I'm the odd, RANDOM one.

My day started at 11:00 PM with my Grandpa waking me up by saying "oh, you are here?!"
He obviously thought he was by himself, but I was actually sleeping like a rock in my room. I still wonder why he was in my room to start with...hmmm..

Well, The plan for this wonderful Friday was to go to the mosquito festival to see Kyle Park! And then tomorrow was CandleLight at the boys "Chrysallis", then Sunday I was to go back up to the boys chrysallis with my friends to see the boys closing. [if you don't know what a chrysallis is look it up.]

All plans changed once my twisted mind heard on 95.7 that the top 200 callers were allowed to try-out for a Disney Channel Series, of course me being me I dialed the number....and.......I WAS TOP ONE OF THE TOP 200 CALLERS!!!! I decided hey if they like me thats awesome and then i will be famous like Selena Gomez, maybe even her best friend, but if I don't I got an awesome random life expierience under my belt.

me and my future Best friend. :) love you girl!

Well God, I hope that you sent me here for an amazing reason, if not i guess it was  just me being random. I hope to make you proud!

God is our father. And just like our earthily father, he wants us to succeed in whatever we do. CRAZY

Thursday, July 29, 2010

What is BIG to you?

This is gonna blow your mind. So everyone, on earth what is the biggest hugest thing you can think of? A continent? A mountain? The Ocean? I mean these things are HUGE, look at the Great Wall of China & the Grand Canyon. Can you say MASSIVE!!
Now think about the Universe...What in your mind do you see as the biggest thing in the Universe? An astroid? A planet? The moon? Stars? The sky in general? The Milky Way?(not the candy bar)

Well, Fortunately for the human race..all your anwers are WRONG!!! WHOOO!
Why am I excited about you incorrectness?  Well, I'm not excited about you failing to give me the correct answer, I'm more excited that there is something bigger than all of our earthily answers.

I want you to gaze at the  picture below for a few seconds...

Pretty Amazing, I agree.
This is a picture of galaxies, as some of you may know. And yes I said Galaxies. Plural. Within those galaxies is our Galaxy, and within our galaxy is planets, moons, earth, ect. Whoa!!HUGE. You would think it would take something huge in itself to create something like this. But wait, that's not all. Did you know that there is more than one cluster of galaxies? WOW. There is more than one cluster of galaxies!

Does that give you even an inkling of how big God is?!?!!

 Look at the detail of his work! God didn't have to create each person to have a different voice, he didn't have to create multiple species of birds, he created different laughs!! Have you noticed everyones laugh is pretty much different? WOW!

There are things that we as humans with our tiny brains can't even fathom.

"If my mind was the size of a soda can and God is the size of all the oceans, it would be stupid for me to say He is only the small amount of water I can scoop with my little can. God is so much bigger, so far beyond our time-cased, air/food/sleep-dependent lives." -Francis Chan

Crazy to know that we don't even have the capability to truly know how BIG God is.
God must love us a lot, he did all this for us. He lets us humans be apart and use his detailed work.
He gave up his son!! How would your parents react to someone nailing you on a cross? Or as a parent, how would you react to your children being nailed to a cross. God did that, gave his son for us, for everyone of us.

Give yourself a few minutes and then I want to ask you to go to and Watch the "Just Stop and Think" video link. (AND PLEASE DO IT!! It will open your eyes.)

I'm reading the "Crazy Love" book right now by Francis Chan, and I just gave you a glimpse of the first chapter, or at least what I got out of it. I highly recommend the purchase of this book.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Ghost phobias Necessary or Unecessary?

Okay, I've realized that I have a serious anxiety problem. I'm for one scared of the I sleep with a lamp on ever single night. But even worse than that I have a big fear of ghost. If we want to get specific it's called Phasmophobia. Ick, the name is scary in itself. But i literally lay in bed at night praying that some odd demonic spirit doesn't try to come haunt me. Strange? I think so too.

Actress demonstrating initial reactions of fea...Image via Wikipedia

A common fear of people is haunted buildings, believing that paranormal activity is there. Of course this fear of spirits is increased by the world wide web by videos, photos, and spooky stores. But what about the more credible unexplained proof. The question is WHAT THE HECK ARE THEY!?!

As the cloud is consumed and vanisheth away: so he that goeth down to the grave shall come up no more. He shall return no more to his house , neither shall his place know him any more ." Job 7:9-10

In my twisted brain, I interpret this as him saying that once you die, you are in your grave awaiting for him to call you up. Awaiting in your grave.

On the other hand, Aren't angels and demons spirits? Aren't angels and demons real?

Revelation 12:4 seems to indicate that Satan took one-third of the angels with him when he sinned. Jude 6 mentions angels who sinned. The Bible indicates that the demons are fallen angels who, along with Satan, rebelled against God. God also says that there are angels, and demons. Does this mean that Angels and demons are not ghosts? Is there really a difference?

Wikipedia states: that ghost is said to be the apparition of a deceased person, frequently similar in appearance to that person, and usually encountered in places she or he frequented, the place of his or her death, or in association with the person's former belongings. The word "ghost" may also refer to the spirit or soul of a deceased person, or to any spirit or demon.

and it also states:The English word "spirit" comes from the Latin "spiritus" (breath). The term is commonly used to refer to a supernatural being which is transcendent and therefore metaphysical in nature.

On that note I'm gonna let you ponder on what you've read..
So....what to believe. I do not know. Any thoughts on this feel free to post up.


The funny thing is, is that i freak myself out just researching this stuff. lol

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

One of My Greater Expieriences

Hey guys.My first thing i want to talk about is one of my greater experiences with the Lord, Jesus Christ. <3 SOO good. I could literally talk to you about him all day if you asked me too. But for now I just want to start out with a major minor detail in my walk with Christ.

My freshman year was one of the hardest years for me. I was taking college BCIS, cheerleading, playing volleyball, track, softball. And maintaining those good grades for my grandparents to see in the honor roll each six weeks. But also deep down I was emotionally exhausted not many people know this about me, but i was literally stuck in a depression stage towards the end of the first semester, i began getting more moody faster, and kinda standoffish. At this time I was going through family problems that I was beginning to no longer handle, I moved out of my dads house the last day of school to live with my mom, who i was also having problems with because she was also working and our communication just really sucked and i also had done something that i don't want to voice on facebook. But At the beginning of the year I had gotten my friend Christina to start going to church with me on Wednesdays at Flipside, and eventually i drifted and she stayed. She finally after a few times got me to go with her again.

Mrs. Penny's sermon that Wednesday was all about sexual purity and about family problems and how people cope and react to situations. God had indefinitely spoken to me, and i felt ashamed of myself. As the sermon ended it was time for praise and worship, everyone had their hands up reaching for God and singing, and all i could do was cry like a baby, all i felt was shame, and pathetic. I wanted my relationship with my father but i felt i couldn't fix it, i wanted my mom to be home and be their for me. And i wanted to fix the unfixable. As i stood their i realized i hadn't even opened up to any one about anything i hadn't try to let it out or vent or even get the nerve to ask God's help. But there amidst all the other faces in the crowd worshipping God...Vicky Wynn came to me and gave me a loving hug and said "Tayler Don't worry about your parents or whatever is going on with your parents. God is in control. And quit beating yourself over whatever you have done. God forgives you." After worship was over and the final announcements were said, I found Mrs. Wynn...and asked her, "how did you know about that? how did you know what i was upset about?" she simply smiled and said "God told me."

That little simple moment was confirmation for me. That was my moment. That was when it was real for me.